BOUGHT: Pro-Trump children’s book author paid witnesses in House GOP hearing

BOUGHT: Pro-Trump children's book author paid witnesses in House GOP hearing

Witnesses in a House Republican hearing just admitted taking payments from a children’s book author that served as a Trump White House National Security Council staffer.

House Republicans attempting to portray the FBI as “weaponized” during a committee hearing accidentally revealed themselves to be paid shills for Donald Trump.

Kash Patel is the author of “The Plot Against the King: Part 2, 2,000 Mules,” a hideous children’s book based on election lies. The two witnesses at today’s hearing admitted that the current Truth Social board member Patel pays them money, leading to a real grilling.

That’s the plotline of this week’s show from the GOP’s amateur dinner theater group known as the “Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government” put on a pathetically performative political play for an audience of one on Thursday.

Call it The Hardly Boys in ‘The Case of the Missing Whistleblower.’

Committee Chair Rep. Jim “Gym” Jordan (R-Ohio State showers) certainly takes his leading role seriously.

When he’s not trying to scapegoat Hunter Biden because Donald Trump has some kind of blackmail on every Congressional Republican, Jacketless Gym is doing his wind-up monkey routine for peanuts.

Gym really leaned into the “Loud Yelly Steamroller” technique of delivering his manufactured outrage of finding who’s at fault for “weaponizing” the U.S. government.

(Spoiler alert: They could all just save us time by looking in the mirror)

Jordan’s opening monologue of nonsensical MAGA word salad tried to blame a still-unnamed whistleblower whom no one can find.

The flapping wet-mouth released an 80-page manifesto disguised as a report on the FBI ahead of the hearing.

Among the more outrageous propaganda from Jordan is the accusation that the FBI’s “partisan leadership” is currently engaging in a “purge” of agents who hold conservative political beliefs.

Jordan’s biased bs report claims the FBI “dispensed cash bonuses to local field office leadership for meeting certain arbitrary metrics and performance goals.”

“The FBI, under Director Christopher Wray and Attorney General Merrick Garland, is broken,” the report alleges.

“The leadership at the FBI and Justice Department have weaponized federal law enforcement against everyday Americans, seeking to silence those who dare to have a different viewpoint.”

Except the hearing really didn’t go the way they’d all rehearsed it. Mainly because they forgot about the part where House Democrats get to ask questions.

Enter Rep. Daniel Goldman!

He is the freshman NY Congressman who’s also responsible for the House Ethics complaint against George Santos.

Goldman improvised some very spot-on lawyering after Thomas “Dumb” Massie gave him a perfect “Yes, and” to build on.

I can’t help but imagine Jim Jordan tearing off pieces of his report with his teeth after Goldman got a witness to admit they’d been paid off by Trump aide Kash Patel.

Twitter was serving up the schadenfreude for anyone who wanted to share. Also, can you please hurry up with that Jim Jordan project for HBO, George Clooney?


Other hot takes by Tara Dublin can be found on TikTok and Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks