SNEETCHY: Musk removes blue checkmarks to cause more Twitter chaos

SNEETCHY: Musk removes blue checkmarks to cause more Twitter chaos

In his 1961 book The Sneetches, Dr. Seuss gave kids a real diversity lesson delivered by a group of made-up creatures.

The Star-Belly Sneetches believe they’re better than the Plain-Belly Sneetches for an arbitrary reason.

Those stars weren’t so big. They were really so small
You might think such a thing wouldn’t matter at all.
But, because they had stars, all the Star-Belly Sneetches
Would brag, “We’re the best kind of Sneetch on the beaches.”
With their snoots in the air, they would sniff and they’d snort
“We’ll have nothing to do with the Plain-Belly sort!”
And whenever they met some, when they were out walking,
They’d hike right on past them without even talking.

Then an enterprising entrepreneur, Sylvester McMonkey McBean, comes along with his invention, a machine that stamps blue stars on the bellies of those who have none.

That creates a chaotic environment of nasty FOMO where there are more Sneetches with blue stars than without. The OG Star-Belly Sneetches then use a different invention to remove the stars to remain separate.

They go back and forth until the blue star is rendered meaningless and everyone can be “equal.”

It’s a fairly obvious parable to explain why the -isms and -phobias of the world are bad. We will now apply it to what Elon McMusky McBeanbag is doing to Twitter.

Elon bought Twitter for the sake of destroying it, and there’s no one who can change my mind about this.

Aside from allowing the worst people back on the platform, Musk has shredded the cred of anyone tweeting truths Trumpers don’t want to hear.

Musk arbitrarily labeled NPR and the BBC in his blatant efforts to get his SpaceX fanbois to help him create more distrust of the mainstream media.

On Thursday, Musk gleefully removed all meaning from the Verification process, having removed the “Legacy Verified” blue checks from (almost) everyone not paying for them, including yours truly.

Actor/activists Alyssa Milano and Bette Midler were among the more high-profile of MAGA’s favorite famous female scapegoats making the case for online safety after losing their checkmarks.

Unlike the Sneetches, we didn’t parade our blue checks around for show.

Those checkmarks meant anyone reading our tweets could trust it was really us.

Now it’s as if Twitter became Gab overnight, which is what Elon wanted instead of just buying Gab.

At the same time, Musk is apparently floating the bill for a couple of extra famous people to keep their blue checks.

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He’s making it look like LeBron James and Stephen King (two of his biggest critics) are paying for Twitter Blue, and they both let it be known that they absolutely are NOT.

I don’t know what Musk is personally getting out of losing billions while turning Twitter into his own Putin-backed version of Animal Farm.

I’d just like to be able to prove I’m me without having to deal with Musk’s mishegoss.

*THIS IS AN OPINION COLUMN THAT SOLELY REPRESENTS THE OPINIONS OF TARA DUBLIN. HOORAY FOR THE FREE PRESS!*

 

Other hot takes by Tara Dublin can be found on TikTok and Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks