MEDIEVAL: Florida education just took a major step into the Dark Ages

MEDIEVAL: Florida education just took a major step into the Dark Ages

In Dark Ages Florida, a principal just got fired for teaching about the Renaissance.

Washington Press got an exclusive interview with the Chairman of the school’s Board, which started profanely and ended shockingly with its Chairman lobbing wild conspiracy theories.

Michelangelo’s famous sculpture of David is the most recognized statue in history, but I guess the good people of Tallahassee, Florida, never learned that.

And now their kids never will.

Because Florida.

A Tallahassee charter school principal was forced to resign by the school board after a bunch of slack-jawed Florida parents complained about a sixth-grade art history lesson, claiming the 16th Century nude statue of David is “pornographic.”

The famous artwork is on public display in front of Italy’s Accademia Gallery of Florence and was initially commissioned to sit atop a Cathedral.

Yet, Principal Hope Carrasquilla was pushed out of Tallahassee Classical School this week after three–THREE!–parents complained about the school’s curriculum because it included the Renaissance era masterpiece.

Two said they wished they’d been made aware that kids were being shown images of the sculpture first, and one claimed it was “pornographic” and that the images “upset” their children.

How ironic is that? Firing the head of a classical school for teaching about the statute of David in a classical pose known as contrapposto.

Imagine being so delicate and fragile; an image of a flaccid uncut Renaissance-era ding-dong sends you into apoplexy.

If you think this hypocritical moment sounds like something idiotic out of The Simpsons, then you would be literally correct.

It is.

Michaelangelo's David, widely considered the greatest sculpture in the world. It was part of a sixth grade Renaissance art class

The most important thing anyone can learn about the arts is that once any piece of art–visual, performing, written, etc.–is shared with the world by the artist, it becomes a living subjective moment that belongs to the people.

However, if you end up in a district where the chair of the school’s board is an uptight repressed white Florida man, then you’ve got major trouble with old folks on the Suwanne River.

This reporter reached out to Barney Bishop, the Chairman of the Board at Tallahassee Classical School. He’s a high-powered consultant that is so repressed he’s afraid of letting kids look at famous works of art, which might lead to them thinking for themselves, which just cannot happen.

Because Florida.

Bishop admitted to Washington Press on the phone to giving Principal Carrasquilla an ultimatum, telling her she had to either hand in her resignation or would be fired.

“Parental rights are supreme, and that means protecting the interests of all parents, whether it’s one, 10, 20, or 50,” said Bishop regarding the very few complaints received.

It was kind of shocking that someone with this much input and influence over the education of children refused to answer most of a reporter’s questions and instead talked over me.

The conversation ended with Bishop telling this reporter to “go fuck myself” before hanging.

I guess the “governance” of their “guided set of bylaws that define how the Board operates” allows for their Chair to verbally abuse a journalist who’s just trying to ask questions.

But sharing the great works of the Renaissance at a classical education school is verboten.

Then, Chairman Barney unexpectedly called me back.

He refused to apologize for swearing at me and proceeded to talk over me for eight full minutes.

The final highlight was when he said this reporter is a “paid corporate MSM shill.” (Yeah, sure, pal.)

Bishop was most recently the head of the Associated Industries of Florida lobbying organization representing Disney, Florida Power & Light, and other Sunshine State heavy hitters. Three decades ago, he was the Executive Director of the Florida Democratic Party.

Now, the one-time Democrat is a raging DeSantis-stan, as one of his public Facebook posts amply proves.

All I can suggest at this point is if you’re a Democrat with kids in Florida, PLEASE MOVE AWAY ASAP before they also get a Dark Ages education.

Read more here from the Tallahassee Democrat:

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks