March 29, 2023

PICK-ME: Trump considering these four MAGA Mean Girls for his veep

PICK-ME: Trump considering these four MAGA Mean Girls for his veep

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Among all of the other terrible things about him, Donald Trump is a really bad copycat with absolutely zero original ideas.

In just one recent example of not knowing how to fight your opposition correctly, Donald Trump asked himself, “Who do I know who’s Black and famous?” to run against Sen. Raphael Warnock in the 2022 midterm elections, and that’s how we got Herschel Walker.

That political tactic flopped like so many of Trump’s other failures, but since he’s incapable of any independent thought, he doesn’t understand that to best your competitor, you need to offer something completely different from what they have.

So now that the Democrats have a woman Vice President, Trump thinks he needs to have one, too.

Except he knows he won’t be able to find anyone like Kamala Harris to stand downwind of him, so he’s looking at a pretty limited stable of MAGA Mean Girls to be his running mate.

The top choice for Trump’s VP is professional subhuman vacuum Kari “KKKari” Lake, who’s modeled herself after TFG so much, I fully expect her to start showing up to things in baggy blue suits.

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“There are ballots under there, I just know it!”

But Lake’s notoriety and her blind ambition could potentially outshine the Giant Orange Narcissist, so despite her constant declarations of her undying loyalty, she’d also use one of those pointy witchy elbows to knock him out of the way if it meant getting the presidency for herself.

Also on the short-fingered vulgarian’s shortlist for a Number Two:

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–Nikki Haley, who probably won’t be running for president much longer as she poses zero threat to him but could lend him cred;

–South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, a Trump loyalist who’s got the same kind of craven ambition while looking good next to him;

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–Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Trump’s former Press Secretary has yet to endorse him, but she would probably be a willing sidekick.

However, Trump is primarily worried about photos ops will look, and he won’t like the optics of photos like this and others haunting their campaign.

Sarah Sanders' tenure as press secretary ended long before her exit | Trump administration | The Guardian
Sorry, I had to see this and therefore so do you.

Where’s Marjorie Taylor “National Divorce” Greene, you may ask? They need her to stay in Congress to keep funneling Trump’s agenda into the House while helping maintain their razor-thin majority.

Whenever the Ultimate Unholy Alliance is announced, be prepared for the MAGA Mean Girl of TFG’s choice to get even worse, yaaay.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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