March 21, 2023

CONSEQUENCES: Santos under House Ethics investigation for never telling the truth

LAUGHABLE: Lying fraud Santos has the nerve to seek re-election & demand this of Biden

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The wheels of justice may move at a glacial pace, but at least they were quick enough to catch up to Rep. George “Anthony Devolder Zabrovsky Kitara Ravache Jingleheimer Schmidt” Santos (R-NY-ish) roughly two months after he was sworn into Congress under incredibly dubious circumstances.

The House Ethics Committee announced Thursday that it is officially moving forward with its investigation into Santos, a glaringly obvious fraudulent MAGA plant who’s lied about literally everything about himself.

This means Santos is now facing local, state, federal, international, and Congressional ethics investigations, which should completely fill up your entire MAGA Bingo card.

Aside from his mysterious financials, Santos has also been credibly accused of making “unwanted sexual advances” in his congressional office by Derek Myers, a potential applicant.

DELAYED REACTION: NY Republicans waited until McCarthy was in before demanding this
The lying cheese stands alone

A press release from the Committee said that it voted to set up an investigative subcommittee with the authority to look into a number of issues surrounding the opportunistic fraudulent liar, including whether Santos may have engaged in unlawful activities related to his 2022 congressional campaign.

According to their statement, the House Ethics Committee will have jurisdiction to determine whether Santos “may have engaged in unlawful activity with respect to his 2022 congressional campaign; failed to properly disclose required information on statements filed with the House; violated federal conflict of interest laws in connection with his role in a firm providing fiduciary services; and/or engaged in sexual misconduct towards an individual seeking employment in his congressional office.”

[NARRATOR: Santos engaged in SEVERAL unlawful activities related to his 2022 congressional campaign.]

Santos responded to the announcement in a non-responsive tweet: “The House Committee on Ethics has opened an investigation, and Congressman George Santos is fully cooperating,” his office’s Twitter account wrote. “There will be no further comment made at this time.”

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Subtext: “I’m one guilty bish.”

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Bye, Kitara!

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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