March 31, 2023

CACA-PHONY: Trump joins “J6 Prison Choir” to grift funds for rioters’ families

CACA-PHONY: Trump joins "J6 Prison Choir" to grift funds for rioters' families

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Feel free to add “Grammy loser” along with “Never-Nobel Nominee” to Donald Trump’s endless CV of wannabe beclownery.

Trump’s ear-bleeding speaking voice can be heard along with a group of incarcerated domestic terrorists calling itself “The J6 Prison Choir” on a recording of a “song” called “Justice For All,” which can now be found in the “Devotional & Spiritual” section on Apple Music (it’s also available on other platforms yaaay).

That’s right, you too can help fund the families of Trump supporters who’ve been locked up on a variety of charges related to their anti-American antics on January 6th at 99 cents a pop.

That’s all cringey and terrible enough on its own (not to mention infuriating for those of us who have Apple Music and would prefer not to inadvertently support insurrection, Tim “Apple” Cook), but the tremulous terrible tenor of Donald Trump really seals this as possibly the worst thing ever recorded.

And yes, I’ve listened to plenty of Steely Dan AND The Grateful Dead, thanks.

TFG thankfully doesn’t sing on the track; instead, he’s heard reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, which he recorded at Mar-a-Lago a few weeks back while taking a break from hurling ketchup bottles at the walls.

But holy Jaye P. Morgan, there’s just no gong big enough to play off the J6 Prison Choir, which is comprised of 20 Washington D.C. inmates using their mediocre white male MAGA privilege to grift other MAGAts as they suffer the consequences of sedition.

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I listened to it so you don’t have to, but here it is in case you want to know what it sounds like while sitting in Hell’s Outer Waiting Room (once you get inside, it switches to “Hotel California” by the Eagles on an endless loop that gets progressively louder).

It’s just 2:20 of dumb talentless white guys singing the National Anthem (twice) in a dirge-like cadence.

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It was recorded on a jailhouse phone, making it sound as if they were all submerged and gargling.

It ends with them chanting “USA! USA!” (LOL LOL) while including the non-musical stylings of this mushmouthed mook.

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Trump storms out of press conference.
“Feelings…nothing more than butthurt snowflake feelings…”

Twitter turned the Trump torching up to eleven on the aural assault.


Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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