March 22, 2023

GROOMERS: Republicans want AR-15 named “National Gun” of America

GROOMERS: Republicans want AR-15 named "National Gun" of America

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Aside from wanting to remove all bodily autonomy and Social Security along with proper public education, the Evil GOP is now aiming to make the weapon used in most mass shootings the “official gun of America.”

The Republican Party is a death cult underwritten by Vladimir Putin, change my mind.

Thanks to Russian-fueled NRA blood money, Republicans are now fully owned by the gun lobby and have two choices: either push the weapon of death or become collateral damage to the party.

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“This is my rifle boyfriend. There are many rifle boyfriends like this, but this one is mine.”

Leading the Charge of the White Brigade is Rep. Marjorie Taylor “No Longer” Greene (Q-GA via a stinking mudpuddle beneath Mar-a-Lago), who probably uses her own arsenal of AR-15s as “personal massagers” when one of her many tantric white supremacist boyfriends aren’t around.

There’s now an actual real bill introduced by the worst members of the House GOP to make the AR-15 “Merica’s Gun” and I’ll be right back after peeling all of the skin off of my body out of pure rage.

Introduced by Alabama congressman (which are two words that should never go together) Rep. Barry Moore, H.R.1095 already had three co-sponsors by Friday, none of whom will surprise you:

Rep. Lauren “Squeaky” Boebert (Q-CO via Ted Cruz’s friend’s Aspen timeshare) who gave her kids guns for Christmas; Rep. Andrew Clyde, who gave out those AR-15 pins to his fellow gun freaks in the House; and–hold onto something not loaded with bullets–Rep. George “Anthony Devolder Zabrovsky Kitara Ravache Jingleheimer Schmidt” Santos (R-NY-ish), who has yet to meet a GOP bandwagon he didn’t want to jump on immediately.

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It’s fine that the GOP cares more about stacking bodies than keeping their voting base alive.

The Democrats in the Senate aren’t going to let this happen, and plenty of us hope they just laugh their collective asses off while burning H.R. 1095 with fire so that it can never come back again.

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Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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