April 1, 2023

TRUMPED: Haley draws bigger crowd for 2024 launch announcement than TFG

TRUMPED: Haley draws bigger crowd for 2024 launch announcement than TFG

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Last month, Donald Trump traveled to South Carolina to hold an official 2024 campaign kickoff rally that no one wanted to attend.

So there must’ve been a whole lot of extra ketchup to clean off of the wall at Mar-a-Lago on Wednesday when former South Carolina Governor and opportunistic shrew Nikki “I Changed My Name to Deny My Heritage” Haley, who co-opted Valentine’s Day to announce her run for president in 2024, drew a yuge crowd for her official campaign launch announcement.

Yes, the same Nikki Haley who supported Trump during his first impeachment.

Yes, the same Nikki Haley who also said she wouldn’t run in 2024 if Trump was running.

Maybe she’s a liar?

NIMROD: Haley announces she's running for president

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Yes, she is that person, and so much more MAGA mishegoss.

It’s bad enough that Haley is a lying, self-hating, opportunistic climber, but it gets worse. Nimrata is also fine with spreading hateful conspiracies against other minority groups while pretending she’s not a member of a marginalized community herself.

Nimrata is of Indian-American heritage, but like her fellow Republican women of color like Harmeet Dhillon and Brigitte Gabriel, she’s morphed into a more palatable version of her former self to be more appealing to the gross white Christian MAGA men.

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After entering to “Eye of the Tiger” (which other MAGAts have used and been sued by Survivor, so I hope Nimrata’s got a good lawyer), the woman who changed herself entirely to be more appealing to racist Republicans stood up in front of a larger crowd than Trump’s and said America isn’t a racist country.

This trope that Democrats are teaching kids to hate America is white on brand for the haters looking to end public school while literally whitewashing all of the parts of our history they don’t like (the racist parts).

Haley also leaned into every other fear-stoking line of MAGA propaganda in her performative bullshittery to make sure the crowd understood that she’s just like them:

  • invocation from a Qrazy Bible-thumping hellfire preacher who stopped short of speaking in tongues and handling snakes? Check.
  • Using hatespeech buzzwords like “woke” and “anti-woke”? Check.
  • Pretending she didn’t cozy up to Trump and then lied about it? Check check.

Twitter caught Haley in every lie she spewed, which won’t make a lick of difference to the MAGA propaganda machinery.

Here she is saying American states have the right to secede, which is now like a giant slab of red meat for the Make America’s Guns Accessible crowd.

But at least we have these excellent burns to keep us warm as we shudder over the thought of having to live through the next election cycle.

I mean, this is a great started/going right here:

And there was plenty of other truth flying around about Nimrata, none of which will make any difference to MAGA voters ready to walk away from Trump and hand over their Social Security to the GOP.

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Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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