March 31, 2023

SUNK: Rihanna’s “Navy” blasts Trump out of water after he trashes Super Bowl halftime show

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There sure are a lot of mediocre white men with some hot garbage takes about Rihanna’s performance during the Super Bowl Halftime Show on Sunday, but none more mediocre than Donald Trump.

Trump loves any reason to scapegoat a woman of color in public over any perceived slight (see also: Chrissy Teigen, et al), but Rihanna has given him more than enough reasons to whine into his Diet Coke.

Aside from being outspoken against Trump’s executive order that banned Muslim refugees from entering the U.S. (she called him “immoral” and “mentally ill,” super triggering for Donny Thin Skin), Rihanna won a legal battle in 2018 prohibiting his campaign from ever playing her music at his rallies.

“Bad everything?” “No talent?” OK, Trumper.

Donald Trump blasts Rihanna: It was the worst halftime show in Super...
Is it me or is RiRi trolling that vag neck with all of those extra folds of material?

Even before the “Fenty Bowl” began, Trump posted on his trash Truth Social app about RiRi: “Bad everything, and no talent,” because every accusation is a confession from the rotten orange born on the third baseline of one of the worst baseball diamonds ever.

But once the halftime performance had ended, everyone had to rush to the socials to have their say, including the Rotten Racist Orange Menace.

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I’m guessing none of them have ever sung and danced on a platform suspended above a stadium for thirteen straight minutes while pregnant with their second child.

And I’m also guessing Donald Trump has never spent 13 straight minutes with any of his grandchildren, but anyway, he had to say something after she showed off the kind of stamina he’s never had.

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“EPIC FAIL: Rihanna gave, without question, the single worst Halftime Show in Super Bowl history,” he wrote on Truth Social. “This after insulting far more than half of our Nation, which is already in serious DECLINE, with her foul and insulting language. Also, so much for her ‘Stylist!'”

Foul and insulting language? OK again, Trumper.

Anyway, as Beyonce has her Beyhive, Rihanna has her Navy — makes sense, since she’s from an island (Barbados, for all y’all who don’t know) — and they absolutely sunk Trump’s Battleship after he dared to step to their admirable leader.

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Follow Tara Dublin on Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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