Are you looking for a miracle cure for wrinkles or a gold-plated thousand-dollar bill with the picture of America’s #1 windbag on it, smiling confidently? Or perhaps a book series for kids that will “educate” them about the socialist threat the USA faces?
Well, then, ladies and gents, have we got a site for you!
On Donald Trump’s Truth Social platform, the truth is so astounding that you’ll be floored as you’re introduced to miracle cures, priceless memorabilia that can be yours on the cheap, and plenty of indoctrination books and videos — all, of course, about things that the deep state doesn’t want you to know about!
Stuart A. Thompson of The New York Times recently did a short exposé of the ads that can be found on Truth Social.
Unsurprisingly for anyone who’s ever seen the right-wing social media haven, his analysis found that major advertisers avoid it like the plague, and the only promotions to be found there are ones that appeal to the most gullible among us, i.e., Trump’s base.
Advertisers who use the platform to hawk gimmicky products like completely unofficial “vaccination exemption” cards, meanwhile, report that the tools are wonky and unreliable.
I mean, who’d have thought that a business led by Donald J. Trump, that marvel of efficiency, would be half-assed and fail to operate properly?
You’re dying of shock, I know.
It’s certainly par for the course for Trump – especially when it’s a Trump golf course and he gets to cheat.
Here’s Trump’s business model: find people even dumber than him and trick them out of their money.
He’s been doing it for many years now, from the rubes he got to invest in his casinos in the 80s to the ones who bailed him out by buying his worthless stock in the 90s to the fools he targets today with his NFTs and other “opportunities.”
All of them wind up, as Marlon Brando would say, with cider in their ear.
(If you don’t get that reference, you’re probably not a musical fan. If you don’t know who Marlon Brando was, you’re likely under 30 and grew up under a rock in Uzbekistan. And if you think Marlon Brando was a “commie liberal,” you belong on Truth Social.)
For fun, I decided to dance around True Sociopaths for a while – on Trump’s own page – to go through some delightful ads situated in between the rantings of that deranged Florida retiree.
Here’s what I found, and some helpful commentary:
This one will help protect you from the evil 5G rays.
Thank goodness! We can’t have Biden sending you secret messages through the ionized ozone of wireless networks while you sleep!
Wow, that does look easy! Just a bit of ectoplasm (unless it’s sperm – please tell me it’s not sperm) applied to your skin and voila! You’re cured!
What can it do for Republican brains?
With the liberals surrounding you like zombies, you’ll need all the protection you can get.
It’s why True Sociopaths is filled with weapons ads, including this one. But if you missed it – don’t worry – you’ll see another just like it in about twenty seconds.
There’s a reason for that repetition, by the way: like everything else Trump touches, his social platform is essentially turning to manure, unable to attract decent advertisers and getting crushed by Rumble, another right-wing site.
But they should be OK. After all, they must have a massive hoard of gold stashed away somewhere to manufacture all those gold-plated $1000 bills if we’re to believe what we see on the site.
For more fun, join Ross on Twitter by clicking on @RossRosenfeld.