January 29, 2023

TOTAL DRAG: A Santos by any other name really should not tweet

TOTAL DRAG: A Santos by any other name really should not tweet

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Ever since we first learned about the existence of Rep. George “Anthony Devolder Jingleheimer Schmidt Kitara RavacheSantos (R-NY-ish),  not a day has passed without discovering new and increasingly terrible things about the Untalented Mr. Ripoff.

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Santos still somehow has been assigned to two House committees because someone with a lot of money is really invested in keeping a Republican in his seat no matter what their real name or actual citizenship status might be.

ICYMI, Santos:

  • raised $3000 under the pretense of saving a disabled veteran’s service dog, but the vet says Santos kept the money, and the dog died
  • a former roommate of Santos’s said they never knew him by the name “George Santos,” but as “Anthony Devolder”
  • a Brazilian drag queen shared photos of herself with a fellow drag performer calling herself “Kitara Ravache” who has been credibly identified as the person in our actual real Congress currently using the name George Santos

If you were trying to keep a scorecard going to track all of the Devolder deceptions on the daily, you’d be through your fifteenth or so version by now, with your tiny golf pencil whittled down to a nub.

Miss Thing certainly seems to feel very emboldened, enabled, and protected by his new Daddy, Rep. Kevin “Weaker Speaker” McCarthy (R-CA by way of Trump’s private bathroom at Mar-a-Lago)n and his brand new Auntie-bestie, Rep. Marjorie Taylor “No Longer” Greene (R-GA via the shift after McCarthy’s).

Santos has decided he can just tweet anything he wants and no one will drag him for it. Pun fully intended there.

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Denial ain’t just a river, Henny, but George went there on Thursday anyway.

Exhibit A, in which he says that drag queen isn’t him and accuses the media of making “outrageous claims”.

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Okurrrr, former Baruch College volleyball champ with brand new knees, it was only confirmed by NBC News, but whatevs.

Exhibit B, in which he tries to deny a dog died because of him. Subtext: “I only kill the truth!”

The Twitter children came for him and fully snatched the (probably stolen) wig right off of Miss Kitara’s lying fraudulent head, dragging the former (alleged) drag queen to utter filth for all of this and so much more.

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Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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