March 24, 2023

UNFRIENDLY BET: Football wager between Swalwell & Cruz goes seriously sideways

UNFRIENDLY BET: Football wager between Swalwell & Cruz goes seriously sideways

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That’s not just desperate insincerity and smarmy ambition oozing from every enlarged pore on Sen. Ted Cruz’s pallid waxy amphibious face.

It’s also extreme jealousy.

How else to explain Trump’s subhuman Texas toilet AND bidet relentlessly attacking Rep. Eric “Dreamy Dream Dreamboat” Swalwell (D-CA)?

Cruz dunks on Swalwell's NFL playoff wager: 'How about we bet a Chinese dinner instead?' | Fox News
Yeah, why would Ted Cruz be jealous of Eric Swalwell?

Swalwell is a favorite MAGA target because he took part in Donald Trump’s first impeachment trial (which you can read about in his excellent book, “Endgame”) and continues to–you might want to hold onto something sturdy here–do his job of putting the needs of his constituents and the American people ahead of his bank account while also telling the truth.

All bullying is rooted in jealousy.

Ted cannot compete with our Dem Crush, he knows it, and he hates himself for it.

So that’s how we got to this week’s low point for humanity (on Monday).

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Swoony Swalwell tweeted a football bet to Turd Cruz, a little California vs Texas rivalry with some fairly interesting stakes: whoever lost would agree to stay off Twitter for a month.


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See, that’s an unfunny reference to a lie MAGA loves to tell about Eric Swalwell and his former Chinese friend who turned out to not be a friend, and therefore Swalwell stopped being friends with her.

Swalwell is such a proponent of the truth, he constantly tries to clear up those ridiculous “Fang Fang” rumors with pesky facts, which MAGA really hates.

Truth is just anathema to the GOP, because they can’t stoke fear in their base with unscary facts.

So they keep pushing that trope and Eric Swalwell receives death threats on the regular.

But not just him.

Swalwell’s young children have all been threatened, even before they were born.

Yes, the party that talks about “protecting the pre-born” because “all life is precious” and whatever that “born alive after abortion” crap is about sent death threats to Eric Swalwell’s pregnant wife.

MAGA also continues to help Swalwell prove his point for him by trolling him and threatening him even more whenever he posts about the threats he gets.


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Toady Ted Cruz is a spineless sack of Trumpness who’ll always take the lowest possible road because it’s conveniently located near the stinking mudpuddle where Heidi makes him sleep.

Eric Swalwell always tries to find the humanity in his Congressional colleagues on the right.

You lose again even if your sportsball team wins, Turd Cruz.


Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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