Susan Cole, the House Reading Clerk who featured so prominently in the C-SPAN coverage of the election of Kevin McCarthy to become Speaker of the House of Representatives, proved to be perhaps the most stoic figure through the contentious fight for the speakership.
Cole is a Republican who previously served as the reader for the House Financial Services Committee.
She’s been at the job for just over fifteen years, having secured it after a three-minute audition in 2007.
Cole told The Hill that, for fun, she likes to read the writings of Abraham Lincoln. She is a graduate of Peay State University in Tennessee.
As the House fight intensified, many noted Cole’s seemingly preternatural calm, patiently waiting and working through various pronouncements as she recorded each member’s vote.
She’s so dispassionate, in fact, that this is her LinkedIn profile:
Below is a personal ode to Ms. Cole, reigning queen of record-keeping.
AN ODE TO SUSAN COLE
Oh, glassy-eyed glarer!
Heart snarer!
Humor sparer!
Willful woman of note,
How we dote on your vote,
With each tally wrote
Wholly I am smote!
Twelve, thirteen, fourteen times
McCarthy’s bell chimes!
As you with your pencil
Diligently stencil
With neat nicks and crosses
Delightful losses
Within your wee book.
A quick dour look
As a Congressman preaches,
Those unholy breaches
Of decorum
In your forum,
You goddess of rules
Ruling the fools
With pure grace,
A stern face,
An even tone
Cutting to the bone.
Onward, great matron!
I, a mere patron,
Will follow in awe
As you follow the law
And proceed with procedure
While the mighty and meager
Sit impatient and eager.
For more great poetry (or at least he thinks so) and plenty of humor, follow Ross on Twitter: @RossRosenfeld
