April 1, 2023

FUELED FEUD: Greta Thunberg and her devastating putdown of a gas-guzzling kickboxer

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I won’t fault you if you’re not familiar with “Light-Heavyweight” (???) Kickboxing World Champion Andrew Tate, now a British “internet personality” with 3.3 million Twitter followers who’ve made him a hero to mediocre fragile incel snowflake-types overcompensating for so many things that they have to blame all women for their miserable sad lives.

You might be better acquainted with Greta Thunberg, the teenage girl who’s been terrifying grown men for the last few years because she *GASP* speaks truthfully about scary climate change.

Greta (who happens to have autism, so guess how nice the internet has been to her?) also does this weird thing where she uses scientific facts to back up her activism, while the likes of Tate just bully women because they have a sad and no amount of material things will fill the empty unloved void inside of them.

Greta: LOL whut?

Wednesday saw these two opponents clashing in a classic Twitter cage match where someone who’s aggressively stupid thinks they’ve pulled off some great flex at someone else’s expense and then ends up with a ratio for the record books while the victor goes on with her life.

Tate isn’t the first guy to own a fleet of expensive cars to peacock for the ladies, but he certainly is one of the loudest.

Literally, no one but the tax collector cares how many cars you have, lil buddy.

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But it wasn’t just the cars — 33 of them, ladies! One for every millimeter, wink wink (that comes out to 1.2 inches, btw)!

Nope, it was the implication that Asshole Andrew is super proud of how all of those cars would destroy the environment.

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Tate tagged Greta with this weak attempt at a humblebrag:

“I have 33 cars. My Bugatti has a w16 8.0L quad turbo. My TWO Ferrari 812 competizione have 6.5L v12s. This is just the start. Please provide your email address so I can send a complete list of my car collection and their respective enormous emissions.”

“Enormous emissions” = “I am a premature ejaculator,” IMHO.

Greta dispatched Tate with possibly the best TKO quote tweet that has ever been. If you haven’t seen it yet, I want you to see it without ruining it for you.

“smalldickenergy@getalife.com” is the (clean energy) burn of the century, if not the entire recorded history of social media.

Greta is a LEGEND. She probably didn’t even take all that much time away from her latest ocean cleanup trip or whatever she’s doing to make this planet livable for future generations.

Twitter was all Team Greta, with the ratio on Tate becoming one for the record books before the day was even half-over on this side of the Atlantic.

No matter what time you might be reading this, just know you have been a witness to the most brilliant own we may ever see in our lifetime.

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Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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