GRIFTING SEASON: A Very MAGA Christmas song

GRIFTING SEASON: A Very MAGA Christmas song

(With all of the apologies to the legendary Bob Geldof, here’s a no-star, all-MAGA version of the instant-Christmas classic from 1984. Imagine all of your least favorite Congressional Republicans gathered in the tackiest gold recording studio in Florida.)


DONALD TRUMP: It’s Christmas time, and there’s a need to be bigly afraid

MELANIA TRUMP: At Kreezmaz time, we banish luff and let in hate

IVANKA TRUMP: And in our Trumpworld of plenty, we can fake a smile of joy

DONALD TRUMP, JR.: Do another rail of coke at Christmas time!

ERIC TRUMP: But thoughts and prayers! Pray for a brand new gun!

LAUREN BOEBERT (sung to TED CRUZ): At Christmas time, you’re hard cause we’re having fun!

KEVIN MCCARTHY: There’s a mob outside my window and I’m full of dread and fear

MERRICK GARLAND (popping his head in): Soon the only water flowing will be a stream of MAGA tears!

NANCY PELOSI: And the Christmas bells that ring there are the chimes of MAGA’s doom

CHUCK SCHUMER: Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you!

ALL: And there won’t be snow at Bedminster this Christmas time

DONALD TRUMP: The greatest grift you’ll get this year is MINE

ALL: To Mar-a-Lago we’ll all go

MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: I’ll be the biggest ho-ho-HO

ALL: Do they know we stole Christmas from them all?

DONALD TRUMP: Here’s to me!

ALL: Raise a glass for our President!

DONALD TRUMP: Here’s to me again!

DONALD TRUMP JR: I wish you loved your sons

ALL: Do they know we stole Christmas from them all?

DONALD TRUMP: Grift the woooooorld!

JIM JORDAN: Let them know we’re grifting them again!

DONALD TRUMP: Grift the wooooorld!

ALL: Let them know we’re grifting them again!

(repeat to fade)a

And now, here’s the real version to cleanse your brain’s palate. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Tara Dublin is a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on the daily.

Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks