November 30, 2022

CALL IT: Running Man insurrectionist who played a role in GOP demise pronounces party dead

CALL IT: Running Man insurrectionist who played a role in GOP demise pronounces party dead

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When he’s not running away from imminent danger like the pillar of masculinity he claims to be, Virginia resident Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO, and wait for it) is super busy being a whiny criminal traitor who knowingly violated transparency laws while claiming residency at his sister’s Missouri address instead of representing Virginia.

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So…not really the guy you’re looking to with any confidence, is the point. That boy is a running fool.

I’m not really sure what takeaway voters are supposed to have when a sitting member of the Senate is telling them their party is dead, but it’s kind of refreshing to hear something resembling truth coming from those super creepy thin lips of his: “The Republican Party, as we have known it, is dead,” Hawlin’ Ass Hawley said just two days before Senate Republicans are scheduled to vote on who will be leading them into 2024.

I really can’t look at that weaselly face for very long, mainly because it reminds me of this photo. And if I can’t unsee this, I can’t possibly suffer alone.

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*GAAAAAAH* brb I need a Silkwood Shower and some eye bleach, enjoy some Hawley heckling while I cleanse my entire psyche.

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Ok then! Now, to bring the room back up, there’s also the tasty news that Hawley’s never stopped bad acting like the criminal traitor he is. Shocker!

Cole County Judge Jon Beetem determined the Attorney General’s office under Hawley violated the Sunshine Law by taking steps to conceal emails between Hawley’s taxpayer-funded staff and his political consultants during his 2018 campaign for U.S. Senate and now he must pay $12,000 in civil penalties — the maximum allowed under state law — plus attorney’s fees. Maybe he just meant his bank account is dead.

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Anyway, the GOP will be around in some form as long as there are people like Josh Hawley and his evil henchman buddies who want to make sure nobody can have nice things. It’s not quite dead, but it’s also not getting any better. Run away now, Josh! Preferably to turn yourself in for being a traitorous insurrectionist.

Tara Dublin is a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on the daily.

Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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