November 27, 2022

ELECTION SCRUTINY: 2018 DeSantis governor’s race reexamined after Trump post raises doubts

ELECTION SCRUTINY: 2018 DeSantis governor's race reexamined after Trump post raises doubts

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We already knew soulless Florida Governor Ron “Dead Eyes” DeSantis (aka “Death Santis”) had a lot of terrible things going for him between the Disney mishegoss, the partying with teenage girls, and that pesky little misuse of COVID funds leading to a human trafficking investigation.

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But you just can’t keep a Florida MAGA Man down, mainly because he’s already floating like a polished gold turd in a swamp full of alligators, cocaine, and shredded pieces of the Constitution.

However, now we also might be able to add a little light election tampering along with the laundry list of Trump-ish things DeSantis has done, all because Trump went ahead and opened his giant orange mouth and said he “helped” Rotten Ron DeathSantis eke out a vital win in 2018? Because that’s what the short-fingered vulgarian seemed to be saying about “DeSanctimonious” on his failing TruthSocial digital fishwrap.

[Screenshot via Donald Trump/Truth Social]
So, just for that little slip of his tiny fingers, both Trump and DeSantis might BOTH be in bigly legal trouble. Muahhahaha.

On Friday, a lawyer for DeSantis’s 2018 Democratic challenger Andrew Gillum, who lost–er, “lost” to Ron by a mere 0.41 percentage points, cited Trump’s inane rant and possible confession in a motion for discovery in his federal public corruption case having something to do with free Hamilton tickets and a visit to the Statue of Liberty (as compared to, hello, treason?), a case they are trying to get dismissed because Gillum feels he was targeted because of his race.

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Sounds like something worth looking into to a layperson such as myself. Now we get to wait for Trump’s post negating his whole rant once someone tells him he totally implicated himself. But hurry! Because no one wants Trump locked up more than DeSantis.

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Anytime anyone wants to hold these Florida swamp creatures accountable, we’re all fine with it. Bonus arrests would also be incredibly satisfying.

Seriously, Florida, what happened to you? You used to be a warm haven for Jewish retirees and families frolicking at Disney. Now it’s like you need to be sure you’re up to date on your hepatitis vaccine before crossing the state line.

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I say let Trump and DeSantis go leaning head-to-leaning head at Mar-A-Lago like a pair of subhuman compromised Rock Em Sock Em Robots. Because like our legitimately elected President said, it’s going to be more fun to watch them take on each other.

Tara Dublin is a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on the daily.

Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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