December 3, 2022

TRUMP: Don’t blame me, Melania made me do it

TRUMP: Don't blame me, Melania made me do it

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Donald Trump would walk over the bodies of the grandchildren he can’t name to escape a burning building and then blame them for starting the fire.


So naturally, he’s already pointing his tiny fingers in every direction but at himself for the GOP’s poor showing on Election Night — including his own third wife.

Inject his misery right into my veins

Nothing is ever Trump’s fault, you know. Thanks, unchecked and untreated privileged Narcissistic Personality Disorder with bonus additional Martyr Syndrome! That’s what happens when two terrible people spawn a child and then never hold it or at the very least teach it to accept loss.


All MAGA losses are squarely on Donny’s dementia-leaning shoulders. So are all of those pesky lawsuits against him in New York, Washington DC, and Georgia.

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The problem is, there are too many chips already sitting on his cheap Brioni shoulder pads to allow any responsibility to find a place to take purchase, which is why he’s doing all of the blame-shifting all of the time.

Blaming the wife, though? He’s realllllly big mad, muahahahahhaha.

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Quick aside: I’m not a fan of Haberman’s, and I don’t know how she sits upright when she’s got to have major whiplash from always playing both sides of the Trump coin, but this is some choice schadenfreude for me.

Blaming Melania for Dr. Oz is pretty hilarious, considering it was just two fading former reality TV stars “atta boy”-ing each other and not much else.

Who or what will Trump blame next for all of the losing? He’s already thrown his wife and his horrible adult childrenunder the wheels of his newly refurbished Grift Force One, so where can he point those tiny fingers?

Let’s make a list:

  1. “The paper for the ballots people voted on was made in a crooked liberal Antifa factory in Portland that automatically changes votes from Republican to Democrat”
  2. “The FBI planted the ballots after they raided Barron’s beautiful bedroom.”
  3. “Hillary Clinton and Letitia James stole voting machines in New York and then gave them to Elizabeth Warren to give to the Squad who gave them to the liberal media.”
  4. “The Deep State rigged all of the races we lost.”
  5. Ted Cruz. Everything can always be blamed on Ted Cruz.

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Hee hee hee. Inject that fool’s misery right into my veins. I may even skip my usual second cup of coffee today, I’m so full of Trump schadenfreude already. I mean, even Fox News had to tell the truth about him! Look out, Tuckems, the Orange Menace is coming for you next!

Tara Dublin is a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on the daily.

Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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