November 30, 2022

GRAHAM CRACKED: SCOTUS says Lindsey Graham’s gonna have to come out of Trump’s colon to testify

GRAHAM CRACKED: SCOTUS says Lindsey Graham's gonna have to come out of Trump's colon to testify

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Right about now, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC via Trump’s lower intestinal tract) is (most likely) regretting allowing himself to become (allegedly) compromised on a golf course in 2017 now that he’s (definitely) in the deepest legal trouble of his life.

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Despite emulating his Orange Overlord by asking the Supreme Court to intervene for him in a legal case, the Trump accomplice who made calls to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger on Trump’s behalf is going to have to appear before the special grand jury in Fulton County.

Cmon, Lindsey, it’s SPECIAL! Because you’re a special snowflake, yes you are!

Trump: I own you, you know.
Leningrad Lindsey (swallowing back Sloe Gin Fizz Breakfast Smoothie reflux): I know.

SCOTUS voted unanimously against Graham with no dissents, while John Roberts let Donald Trump delay the inevitable on his taxes.

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That’s gotta sting, huh Linds?

Here’s a live shot of Lapdog Lindsey contemplating how soon he can get home to his drinking closet and fainting couch.

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I will not descend to the transphobic nickname for Graham that Twitter denizens employ, because I couldn’t care any less why he’s a “confirmed Southern bachelor,” which is how Trump compromised him.

Using a person’s personal shame against them is just one of the many tools in Trump’s Swiss Army Knife of bullying tactics.

BTW, #LeningradLindsey is my hashtag going back to 2016. Just saying. This isn’t that, I’m just telling you.

If you want to pay for what you’re afraid to ask a partner for, because you’re so closeted you can’t even find the right partner in the first place, that’s fine with me. But please don’t compromise our national security over your personal shame.

That’s why I call him “Leningrad Lindsey.” Look at those two soulless traitors. EW.

I have zero sympathy for someone who’s living in a world of misery that they created for themselves.

May I remind you, Graham himself warned us about Trump? Pretty gross to be a self-fulfilling prophecy with no soul.

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Twitter was enjoying a nice Southern-style BBQ at Lindsey’s expense on Tuesday, bless his heart.

https://twitter.com/ImSpeaking13/status/1587516524121628672

We await your testimony, Senator Graham.

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You know, “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”

Or did you forget how to tell the truth?

Tara Dublin is a woefully underappreciated and unrepresented writer currently shopping a super cool novel that has nothing to do with politics while also fighting fascism on the daily.

Follow her on Twitter @taradublinrocks.

Editor’s note: This is an opinion column that solely reflects the opinions of the author.

Tara Dublin

Tara Dublin is a woefully unrepresented writer who thinks more people would read her cool rock & roll love story inspired by Dave Grohl than any ghostwritten GOP crapbook, agents & publishers. Follow Tara on Twitter @taradublinrocks

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