Since President Trump declared his faux national emergency yesterday — after essentially undercutting the basic premise behind it by actually blurting out that he didn’t really need to do it — Twitter has exploded with a series of hilarious responses to the fake alarm under the hashtag #NotesFromNationalEmergency.
The denizens of the Twitterverse posted their imaginative accounts from the front lines of a phony emergency to create a mythological experience that rivals the correspondence sent home by soldiers during the Civil War.
Here’s a sampling of some of the best tweets reacting to the invisible state of emergency that can only be seen through the lens of Trump’s elaborate web of lies.
Today I ventured out with a partner. We visited family who were thankfully safe for now. Upon our return we locked our doors and hugged our pets, gratefully home before sunset.#NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Stephen M Carter (@StephenMCarter4) February 17, 2019
The only food in the house is an old taco making kit, which I’m making while my daughter watches a show about the importance of sharing. The Socialists have joined the Mexicans! All is lost. Nothing left to do but drink the last of my Don Julio 1942. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Douglas M. Schneider (@DougSchneiderBK) February 16, 2019
Went to the store here in Houston Texas managed to get there and back without running into any bad hombres,heroine dealers and MS 13 gang members. Just lucky I guess.#NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Kim (@Kim35078853) February 16, 2019
— Josh Westbrook (@jowestbr) February 16, 2019
National Emergency day 2;
President's day is cancelled until we get one.
All federal employees report to work on Monday.
Maybe you will get paid.#NotesFromNationalEmergency
— D J Junk (@Danial2448) February 16, 2019
#NotesFromNationalEmergency i hear lots of kids running and screaming outside. turns out the neighbors kids were having fun.
i swear i thought it was migrant caravans making their way though my neighborhood, destroying everything
— Urethra Franklin (@tecasse) February 16, 2019
I saw a woman with duct tape. She also had several empty egg cartons, several pipe cleaners of various colors (maybe gang-related), and jiggly eyes. Perhaps it’s craft, or prelude to an invasion. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Pete (@_Pete__Smith) February 16, 2019
I’m coordinating an Underground Railroad to Canada that you may use to escape the Nazis. Deets to follow. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Brandi “over-caffinated leftie” Thorne (@blt_thorne) February 16, 2019
Took the kids swimming. I could hear the other parents at the pool whispering, “do you think there’s enough chlorine in the water, or have the chlorine rations kicked in already?” #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Dee Lindeman (@DeeLindeman) February 16, 2019
Day 2: Just made a short trip to the grocery store. Not enough supplies for the Emergency. There were many other shoppers with the same look of panic, a few fighting over the last of the rotisserie chickens. I’m glad I’m home safe. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Katy Phillips (@KatyPhillipsWI) February 16, 2019
Forced to stay inside and watch reruns of Love It Or List It. HELP! Diet Dr Pepper is low and there is no pizza delivery. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Mary (@reader102002) February 17, 2019
Woke up, had coffee, and started watching out my window for the caravan. They haven't infiltrated our country yet because we have a President who loves us so much he is willing to spend all afternoon on a golf course creating a plan to keep us safe. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Josh (@Venti_Poet) February 17, 2019
Ran out of 92% dark chocolate squares. May be forced to eat 86% dark chocolate squares. Terrified of the extra 1% sugar. What should I do? #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Casey Abrams News (@Lauralizzy292) February 17, 2019
Son2 has given me his cough. I suspect he had been sneaking out at night to run around with the bad ombrés. We are only 100 miles away from the border.
Ok, the Canadian border but still.
— Diane (@SAHMof3DSSPSA) February 17, 2019
Enduring a rough dinner of roasted chicken and root vegetables, a green salad with bacon and some pie for dessert. When will this crisis end?#NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Nigel Saoirse Clay (@Cult_Of_Freedom) February 16, 2019
— Cassandra Curates Calamity (@DovedSimon) February 16, 2019
Tried to buy food while supplies are plentiful & before fuel is rationed. Though stocks are low post- snowpocalypse, supply chains appear to remain intact.
Still, unable to find my favorite whole grain levain bread or Tony Cachere’s cajun seasoning.#NotesFromNationalEmergency
— (((LG7))) (@Lechatbon) February 17, 2019
Studying for a genetics exam next week. Because non-existent national emergencies don't cancel tests #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Nic (@nmowen12) February 16, 2019
I'm going to heat up a frozen burrito because I don't trust the local Mexican restaurant. They might tape me up and rape me when I go to pick the food up. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— Planet Saver (@rationalsquad) February 16, 2019
Met a self-declared ISIS terrorist today. Nice man, all things considered. I asked how he got into the country. “You Americans don’t have a wall of steel slats on your border with Mexico,” he said. Then he winked and put a finger to his lips. #NotesFromNationalEmergency pic.twitter.com/kuYwIAbaME
— Jennifer Korey (@JenniferKorey) February 17, 2019
Dear Diary, Day 2 Rushed to the store to purchase emergency provisions but was denied buying any because I didn't have an i.d. Having survived the Bowling Green Massacre, I'm use to having cereal with no milk, but damn it, I need bread! Sad times. #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— TinKY (@TinKygal) February 17, 2019
We're all out of paper towels….but, we fear not, because we know our commander in chief will visit us soon throwing paper towels directly to us! #NotesFromNationalEmergency
— PIE2012 Honoring President H. Clinton (@PIE20121) February 16, 2019
— Jane (@JaneVoter2018) February 16, 2019
Judging from the responses so far, it’s clear that the major concern if a real national emergency should ever arrive would be making sure that everyone has enough food — that and the fact that everyone knows that President Trump just pulled this entire fraud out of his rear end.
Feel free to add your own terrifying stories of life during a “national emergency” in the comments section below.