This morning, the nation was greeted with the news that President Donald Trump’s longtime lawyer, Michael Cohen, was sentenced to three years in prison for a litany of crimes that he committed while working as Trump’s legal fixer and as a vice-president of the Trump Organization.
The man who once threatened reporters and warned them to “tread very f*cking lightly because what I’m going to do to you is going to be f*cking disgusting” was transformed into a sniveling and humbled shell of his formerly arrogant self by the verdict.
His post-sentencing statements were a penitent and regretful acceptance of his fate — but the real Michael Cohen, the vindictive and backstabbing self-serving huckster, still managed to shine through the gloom of his overwhelming self-pity.
For Cohen made sure to publicly throw his former employer under the bus, finally letting out years of secret resentment and disgust while making sure the whole world knew about Donald Trump and his “dirty deeds.”
“Recently the president tweeted a statement calling me weak, and it was correct but for a much different reason than he was implying. It was because time and time again I felt it was my duty to cover up his dirty deeds,” said Cohen.
“This may seem hard to believe but today is one of the most meaningful days of my life. The irony is today is the day I get my freedom back. I have been leading a personal and mental incarceration ever since the fateful day that I accepted the offer to work for a famous real estate mogul whose business acumen I greatly admired.”
Just to make sure the point really hit home, Cohen finished by taking responsibility for “each act that I pled guilty to: The personal ones to me and those involving the President of the United States of America.”
The sound you just heard was the sudden collapse of the GOP talking point that Cohen's crimes had nothing to do with the president https://t.co/gvodPrKh1Z
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 12, 2018
With the successful prosecution of both Trump’s campaign manager and his former lawyer, it stands to reason that Special Counsel Mueller and his team of investigators will soon be targeting the heart of Trump’s inner circle, beginning with Trump’s idiot sons and then finally, at long last, the President himself.