Trump just made a huge announcement about his next Supreme Court Justice nominee


Donald Trump is once again relying on vague promises to govern, this time by announcing an announcement he intends to announce almost two weeks from now.

Various news outlets are reporting that, after a morning spent chatting with a prank caller  who successful managed to impersonate a senatorial aid because Trump has no idea what a Senator does, Trump declared that on July 9th he will unveil his picks to replace the cowardly Justice Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court.

According to NBC News, Trump has already narrowed his list down to five candidates, two of whom are women. Since the only women Trump knows are Dana Loesch, Diamond and Silk, and all of the mistresses he paid to silence, those names are certain to be doozies when they’re released.

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He will also supposedly be interviewing two of those candidates while he’s in New Jersey this weekend, which sounds like an incredibly roundabout way of saying he’ll be golfing on a Trump property.

He will not, however, ask about his pick’s individual stances on abortion, so presumably, these interviews will really just be another loyalty request from the thin-skinned dictator.


Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his retirement from SCOTUS earlier this week, to take effect on July 31, 2018.

May his retirement be plagued with the anguished screams of every minority or member of a marginalized community left to drown in a sea of orange self-tanner and bad Supreme Court decisions for decades to come.

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Salvatore Nicholas

Salvatore is a producer, political writer, comedian and LGBTQ activist (in no particular order). He resides in Los Angeles with his two cats and encyclopedic knowledge of Britney's discography.