June 29, 2022

Trump just declared a trade war against Canada. Trudeau’s response is brutal

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President “Deals” continues to prove day after day that he knows nothing about making, well, deals. For proof, look no further than Thursday’s stock market dip after Trump placed 25% and 10% tariffs respectively on Canadian steel and aluminum.


As our neighbor to the north, Canada has long been an ally of the United States, but years of civility between the two nations is falling apart faster than Donald Trump’s toupee in the wind.

After Trump’s disastrous announcement, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was forced to respond – and he did so by imposing his own $16.6 billion dollar tariffs on American goods.

Deals, deals, deals.

Trudeau took the podium today and spoke both in French and English, as he is oft to do when addressing his bilingual country. By contrast, Trump can barely get through one coherent sentence in English.

“In closing, I want to be very clear on one thing,” Trudeau explained. “Americans remain our partners, our allies, and our friends. This is not about the American people,” he assured all who were listening.

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It really says something when a foreign leader has more respect for a nation’s constituents than its actual leader.

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Trudeau is aware of that as well, as he delivered one last epic burn before passing the mic to Minister of Foreign Affairs Chrystia Freeland.

“We have to believe at some point common sense will prevail,” Trudeau hoped, “But we see no sign of that in this action today by the U.S. administration.”

If Trudeau can pull common sense out of Trump, it’s he who deserves a Nobel Peace Prize and maybe an Emmy (just to get under Trump’s skin). But let’s not hold our breath.

Freeland began her speech in French as well, before switching to English so that even Trump could try to understand. Somehow, her words outdid Trudeau’s fiery speech.

“These tariffs are totally unacceptable,” she began, before delivering the bad news to American consumers:

“In response to these measures, Canada intends to impose tariffs against imports of steel, aluminum, and other products from the United States, representing the total value of 2017 Canadian exports affected by the US measures. That is $16.6 billion dollars. We are imposing dollar for dollar tariffs for every dollar levied against Canadians by the U.S.”

Perfection, President Deals! Seems like “MAEA” should be his new slogan – Make America Expensive Again (not that it was cheap to begin with).

She continues, informing viewers that the United States has one month left before the changes take effect, effective as of July 1, 2018. She also made sure to warn Trump that, “[the tariffs] will remain in place until the United States eliminates its trade-restrictive measures against Canada. Our steel and aluminum workers have our full support.”

Eventually, Freeland brought up both the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) and the World Trade Organization (WTO), pointing out that Trump’s tariffs violate rules imposed by both, which will undoubtedly cause a headache for the American president ahead of the WTO summit this summer.

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She finished up by laughing off the White House’s ridiculous assertion that the tariffs are in some way meant to bolster national security, as she points out that Canada has never been a threat to America.

“I want Canadians to know that their government will always defend Canadian workers and Canadian businesses,” Freeland closes.

Remember the days when the American president wasn’t a self-serving bigot who supported American interests while maintaining foreign diplomacy? It feels so foreign now.

While this presidency further tarnishes America’s global image, take a moment to watch the press conference, below, and pretend Canada is not so far away:

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Salvatore Nicholas

Salvatore is a producer, political writer, comedian and LGBTQ activist (in no particular order). He resides in Los Angeles with his two cats and encyclopedic knowledge of Britney's discography.

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