May 25, 2022

Trump just announced he’s set to pardon two of his former Apprentice buddies

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Melania Trump hasn’t been seen for two weeks, Trump’s tariffs are causing a spike in prices on everyday goods, and the stock market he was once so proud of has been a shaky, volatile mess, so Donald Trump did what any self-respecting president would do in times of crisis: he pardoned another racist.

In what only can be perceived as a distraction tactic from his many, many shortcomings, Donald Trump pardoned Dinesh D’Souza, who pleaded guilty to campaign finance violation and is really just an all-around racist and grade-A sycophant.

Now, as his presidency continues its downward spiral, Trump has announced two other sentences he wishes to address. For one, he’d like to commute the sentence of former Democratic Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich and the other, pardoning TV personality Martha Stewart.

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Millions of Americans of color sit behind bars for non-violent drug offenses, but sure, multi-millionaire Martha Stewart whose career was in no way affected by the time she spent in a white-collar prison deserves a pardon.

But alas, Stewart was convicted in 2004 by none other than James Comey, Trump’s one-time ally turned arch nemesis.

Looks like Barack Obama’s legacy isn’t the only one Trump wishes to erase.

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As for Blagojevich, Trump told reporters in between bites of his well-done steak with ketchup aboard Air Force One, he believes the politician was “being stupid” but added that “every other politician” has done it and that his sentence is excessive.

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“Eighteen years is, I think, really unfair,” Trump said, mistakenly extending the length of his prison term by four years. “It’s a Democrat. You know D’Souza’s a Republican. And I’m seriously thinking about it.”

The crime “every other politician” has committed was corruption – a hefty amount of it – including trying to sell Barack Obama’s Senate seat after he beat out John McCain for the White House in 2008. Blagojevich began his 14-year prison sentence in 2012.

If this all seems a bit suspect, rest assured – it is. Not only are the optics of Trump pardoning a registered Democrat great for his facade of bipartisanship, but Trump has a relationship with the man.

He appeared on Celebrity Apprentice in 2010, two years prior to his sentencing. Trump claims he “doesn’t know him” outside of that appearance, though. But he also said that about Karen McDougal, another former Apprentice contestant who alleges sexual misconduct against the president.

Stewart has her own ties to Trump, also through The Apprentice in the form of a spinoff she hosted in 2004, just after her sentence for lying to federal investigators about suspected securities fraud came to an end.

“Martha Stewart was harshly and unfairly treated,” the president said. “And she used to be my biggest fan in the world … before I became a politician.”

Trump appears to be referring to Stewart’s photograph from 2017 when she appeared to flip off the middle finger to a photo of Trump, part of her new and updated lifestyle image with rapper-turned homemaking guru Snoop Dogg.

Not only was Stewart herself convicted by Comey, but Blagojevich’s case was prosecuted by a former U.S. attorney with direct ties to James Comey. His name is Patrick Fitzgerald.

Critics of Trump’s bizarre pardon process, which has largely included racist allies of his but has been peppered with “social justice pardons” like that of the late boxer Jack Johnson, has taken place outside of the Justice Department in an attempt to undermine law enforcement as the Russia investigation squeezes tighter and tighter around his bloated neck.

Specifically, Trump has grown increasingly more terrified of Robert Mueller’s probe into Russian interference ever since Mueller focused his attention on Trump’s firing of James Comey as a potential obstruction of justice against the investigation.

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Blagojevich penned an op-ed for The Wall Street Journal which is rife with pandering language obviously meant to appeal to a thin-skinned president who needs a constant stroke to his ego to keep him going.

“Some in the Justice Department and Federal Bureau of Investigation are abusing their power to criminalize the routine practices of politics and government,” Blagojevich wrote.

The number of people who actually believe this carnival-barker approach to the presidency continues to be a national embarrassment, now with the added subjugation of the very system of laws in place to keep us safe and level the playing field.

Trump, of course, doesn’t understand the concept of level playing fields as he was born with a silver spoon in his head… if only he’d had a brain there instead.

Follow Salvatore on Twitter and Instagram.

Salvatore Nicholas

Salvatore is a producer, political writer, comedian and LGBTQ activist (in no particular order). He resides in Los Angeles with his two cats and encyclopedic knowledge of Britney's discography.

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