June 29, 2022

Ted Cruz just issued a challenge to Kimmel after he called him ugly. Kimmel’s response is epic

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While the country was preoccupied with the Roseanne scandal, a lesser-known feud had erupted– this one, between late night host Jimmy Kimmel and Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz.


On his eponymous show, Kimmel proposed that the reason the Houston Rockets lost to the Golden State Warriors in the NBA’s Western Conference finals was because Cruz showed up to the game. Kimmel added fuel to the fire by suggesting that it was “Grandpa Munster Bobblehead Night,” referring to Cruz’s looks, a tame allusion considering the latter half of his joke, that he “looks like a blobfish,” ranked number one on the “Ugliest Animals” list.

“The Warriors pulled out a come-from-behind win on the road against the Rockets, which had the best record of any team during the regular season. The Rockets missed 27 three-pointers in a row last night, and I think I know why. Look who was in the crowd,” Kimmel said, referencing a photo of Cruz. “None other than basketball superfan Ted Cruz. Sporting the super-cool T-shirt-over- a-polo look. Can you be embarrassed by a picture of someone else’s dad? Because I am. When Ted arrived at the Toyota Center, some of the fans mistakenly thought it was Grandpa Munster Bobblehead Night.  I mean, look at him. He looks, and I’m not joking here, he looks like a blobfish. He looks just like — Look at that. The new Rockets mascot. It’s not that surprising Senator Cruz was at the game. If anyone, anyone knows basketball, it’s this guy!”

Cruz, for his part, heard the insults loud and clear and challenged the host to a one-on-one contest of “hoops,” with the loser donating $5,000 to a non-political charity of the winner’s choice.

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Kimmel accepted, but with one hilarious caveat.

While the logistics of the contest are figured out, we’re forced to contend in the meantime with the mental image of Ted Cruz in short shorts. Hopefully watching him lose $5,000 to Kimmel will compensate for the optics. Of course, with the amount of donations that Cruz fields from the NRA, that sum would only be a drop in the bucket for the bought-and-sold Republican Senator.

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Brian Tyler Cohen

Managing editor

Brian Tyler Cohen is a political writer, actor, and comedy sketch director. He graduated from Lehigh University with a dual degree in English and Business. He currently lives in Los Angeles.

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