There’s something special about the 100th milestone. Presidents’ effectiveness is measured by what they accomplish in the first 100 days of their terms. If you reach your 100th birthday, you get a shout out on the Today show. If you get all the answers right on a test, you get a grade of 100.
The big question that America has to face today, however, is what is the appropriate way to commemorate President Trump’s 100th day at one of his own golf courses since his inauguration, as reported by CNN. A golden putter? A coal-powered golf cart? A MAGA-emblazoned frequent guest card with 100 hole punches redeemable for a free value meal at McDonalds?
So many possibilities, so hard to choose the right gift. Making it particularly difficult is the fact that the President spent so much of his pre-presidential career attacking the prior administration for spending too much time on the golf course. It’s almost as if he doesn’t feel entitled to such an honor. Wait, what about a subscription to Golf Digest? Oh, he doesn’t really read? Too bad.
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Such a great milestone to achieve, but we’re still wondering why he didn’t reach the centennial mark any sooner. After all he’s spent 133 out of his 407 days in office at Trump-owned properties. Did it rain on all of those other 33 days? Or was it just that he was at properties without a golf course like Trump Tower or his Washington DC Hotel and that skewed the numbers?
Whatever the reason for the delay, Trump has finally reached the milestone and we’ve finally decided what to give him to commemorate the experience of spending 25% of his time in office playing golf at a club he owns: a lifetime of access to TrumpGolfCount.com where he can steadily track his progress towards the next milestone while we steadily track his progress towards impeachment.