This morning, White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson said that Trump is in “excellent health” and has no cognitive issues.
“The president’s overall health is excellent,” Jackson said.
There were, of course, questionable aspects of the exam, such as the fact that Trump’s height was listed as 6’3. Prior to today, Trump’s height had been listed as 6’2.
Also suspect is the fact that, at “6’3” and “239 pounds,” Trump body mass index (BMI) is 29.9, only 0.1 units shy of obese as categorized by the Center for Disease Control. How convenient.
Furthermore, Trump completed the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, an exam designed to detect cognitive impairment in “older patients.” Per The Washington Post, “The test includes asking a patient to name several animals, draw a clock with the hands at a certain time, copy a cube and recall a short list of words, among others.”
Twitter, of course, had a field day.
i love being lied to north korea style about the president being able to do 3 push ups
— raandy (@randygdub) January 16, 2018
More Jackson, on Trump physical: President's heart beats only 15 times a minute, "and each time it does it sounds like someone dropped a big garbage bag full of chowder out of a helicopter."
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) January 16, 2018
Jay Cutler is 6'3" and 233. Donald Trump is 6'3" and 239. What a difference six pounds makes! pic.twitter.com/ECiWtPVtwn
— Ronald Reagan’s Spinning Corpse (@SpinningRonnie) January 16, 2018
love my big wet healthy president pic.twitter.com/4cphhcpEGe
— KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) January 16, 2018
— Virgil Texas (@virgiltexas) January 16, 2018
The president just got two inches taller, but it’s OK cos Mexico is gonna pay for it.
— LiberalBookwormJim (@goodoldcatchy) January 16, 2018
I’m not sure about this medical report pic.twitter.com/rbHZe8YxpA
— Hippo (@InternetHippo) January 16, 2018
— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) January 16, 2018
TRUMP'S DOCTOR: the president is exceptionally healthy. he weighs 75 pounds, he's an excellent athlete, and he led his team to a come from behind victory in the state championship game
REPORTER: thats air bud
TRUMP'S DOCTOR: no further questions— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) January 16, 2018
Doctor now reporting that Trump is 75 inches in height and, because he is made entirely of meringue, weighs only 36 ounces. "Damnedest thing I ever saw," he said. "The boy's all egg."
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) January 16, 2018
Dr. Ronny Jackson: President Trump "poops one solid styrofoam cube every two weeks." Speculates that it could reflect "his tremendous deal-making prowess."
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) January 16, 2018
My president is 116 pounds of luscious orange fascism. https://t.co/73Jx5J17VR
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) January 16, 2018
To those of you gloating about Trump's "clean bill of health", I offer you this: Reagan's final "clean bill of health" in 1988.
This was the same year Reagan said "I don't recall"` or "I can't remember" 88 times in eight hours of Iran-Contra testimony.https://t.co/7uLsLrv7NR pic.twitter.com/oT4tZgraKy
— Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) January 16, 2018
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