White House senior advisor and white-nationalist-in-residence Stephen Miller isn’t ashamed to spew racial invective and blatantly anti-immigrant lies on national television any chance he gets. There is, however, one thing that apparently does cause the seemingly heartless ideologue severe mental discomfort, the receding hairline on his increasingly naked skull.
The precociously disappearing follicles on the head of the 33-year-old mastermind of the incarceration of refugee children were perhaps in Miller’s own mind the reason he has had such a difficult time finding love and friendship in the cold-hearted town of Washington DC.
In between scheming to architect America’s violations that undermine the international treaties the country has signed regarding our obligations in the treatment of refugees seeing asylum, Miller has decided to make changes that would perhaps present a more appealing pate to the world.
He unveiled his newly populated scalp in an appearance on CBS‘s Face The Nation today, surprising viewers who considered him more likely to be a member of a neo-Nazi party than of the Hair Club for Men.
An obligatory before and after picture is appropriate at this point.
The bold new triangle of what passes for closely-cropped hair now advances towards Miller’s forehead like a Nazi blitzkrieg heading towards Poland.
Miller’s many detractors took to Twitter to comment on the newly hirsute presidential advisor and, as you may imagine, the wags had a field day with the latest in a series of White House cover-ups.
Alternative hair line.
— #MAGAtimeshares (@MAGAtimeshares) December 16, 2018
https://twitter.com/lonlaking/status/1074390732230643713
Nah it looks more like shake on hair. pic.twitter.com/xUpYmQvXyB
— RobertPRoehm (@RobertPRoehm) December 16, 2018
Fake hair on Stephen Miller? I did nazi that coming! https://t.co/PJyJMNu89v
— Naveed Jamali (@NaveedAJamali) December 16, 2018
Jamali added a satirical reference to the infamous Hair Club for Men TV commercial by adding in a subsequent tweet: “He’s not just the Chief Architect of the Muslim Ban and every despicable race-baiting act, he’s also a client!”
Other Twitter users continued to pile on with devastating humor.
The “ Devil’s TRIANGLE” Velcro hairpiece on Stephan Miller’s head is PSYCHO pathetic!!
— sonia scott (@nappiloc) December 16, 2018
https://twitter.com/RayMartinez/status/1074406318486638592
Alternative hair line.
— #MAGAtimeshares (@MAGAtimeshares) December 16, 2018
Stephen Miller has a spray-on toupee because a spray-on Hitler mustache would have been redundant. pic.twitter.com/cez3Ez1VH7
— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) December 16, 2018
I rarely make fun of people’s appearances but when you are as heartless as Stephen Miller I feel no shame in pointing out that he literally painted his hair on before his interview this morning.
Miller’s hair is almost as dishonest as the Trump White House that he works for. pic.twitter.com/FFeHj54wPG
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) December 16, 2018
Stephen Miller can trowel on some hair but they don't make spray-on humanity.#GarbagePeople #FaceOfEvil pic.twitter.com/jcHUm1lzVp
— CrabDiving Podcast (@CrabDiving) December 16, 2018
It’s only appropriate that Stephen Miller’s hair should be no more genuine than the lies he repeats endlessly in pursuit of an immigration policy that would have prevented his own ancestors from coming to the United States.
His presence here in America today would be the best argument he could offer for extreme vetting of any incoming immigrants, but blaming ancestors for the sins of their descendants is an exercise in futility and a denial of the personal responsibility so beloved by Republican moralists.
Miller has already proven that he has no shame by the policies he advocates. His willingness to appear on TV with the most obvious of phony makeovers merely confirms his cluelessness.
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Original reporting by Brian Niemietz at The New York Daily News.